You see, I am excited because I am spending a week with the Handmaids. And I am a little afraid that I'm getting my hopes up too much. That I want this for myself, but maybe, just maybe, God doesn't want it for me. And I want SO MUCH to be attentive to Him, listening to what He wants.
So it's not a break because I'm going to help them in their daily work, and actually live out their horarium. I'll be doing a 9–5…sleep routine that is! And helping the sisters put on a high school retreat. And who knows what else?
But it will be a good break from my regular pace of life. And I'll get to soak up some major rays of love from the Son. Daily Mass, daily Holy Hours…i'll finally get an extensive chance at spending time with my "fiancé." And I get to practice the presence of God, totally Brother Laurence style. :D
My dear Teabiscuit (read=roommate) just reminded me not to anticipate a negative outcome, or be afraid that this is not What God Wants For Me. She said it's like a girl who starts thinking about breaking up with her boyfriend right before Thanksgiving because she's nervous about meeting his family. I laughed, and her words were reassuring. But the two ideas are similar, just not equally disconcerting.
Anyway, I meant this to be a short post, and a "mendicant" post, if you will. I come to beg prayers. You see, this will be the Next Big Step of my discernment, and I need all the prayer warriors in the world who know even the smallest part of this soul of mine to be praying and interceding on its behalf. Your prayers are not forgotten. And of course: I will bring all of you with me in my little soul, and carry you before the gaze of my Love, who is also your Love. When I sit at His feet, you shall be there too. When I serve His children, you shall work alongside me. When I feast at His table, you will be enclosed in my embrace…like the Sign of Peace. It is all I can give in return for the generosity of your prayerful hearts.
Cor ad cor loquitur. "Heart speaks to heart."
–His devoted one
Image from Prince of Peace Catholic Community:http://www.princeofpeaceparish.com/eucharistic-adoration.html